There’s an old proverb about not learning how the sausage gets made. While it had a good run, I think that it is time to retire the phrase. Not only are there trends suggesting an increase in people reducing their meat consumption, companies like Beyond Meat being in the public imaginary mean that newer generations are more likely to associate the sausage making process petri dishes and lab coats over the Oscar Mayor jingle. If I had to pick a replacing phrase, it would have to be “Don’t check chocolate’s ingredient list.” The toxicity that inspires this phrase isn’t just a metaphor for the slave labor that goes into your little bars of dopamine. There’s lead in that shit.
Hershey Co (HSY.N) has been sued by a consumer who accused the company of selling dark chocolate that contains harmful levels of lead and cadmium.
In a proposed class action filed on Wednesday, Christopher Lazazzaro said he would not have bought or would have paid less for Hershey’s Special Dark Mildly Sweet Chocolate, Lily’s Extra Dark Chocolate 70% Cocoa and Lily’s Extreme Dark Chocolate 85% Cocoa had Hershey disclosed their metals content…Lazazzaro, a resident of Nassau County, New York, sued two weeks after Consumer Reports unveiled the results of scientific testing of 28 dark chocolate bars for lead and cadmium.
The magazine said that while all 28 contained the heavy metals, 23 including chocolate from Dove, Godiva, Lindt and Trader Joe’s contained potentially harmful levels of lead, cadmium or both for people who eat one ounce of chocolate a day.
If you’re anything like me, reading “an ounce of chocolate” is just a reminder of how bad at conceptualizing measurements you are. Fret not! I found the conversion for you! An ounce is pretty close to a serving. If you’re thinking back to how much chocolate you and your kids binged last October, I can understand your likely concern.
Lazazzaro said reasonable consumers would be turned off by such levels because they pose a “serious health risk,” and that consumers rely on Hershey to be truthful about ingredients in its products.
Now that is an understatement. Considering that lead and cadmium exposure in children can have well documented disastrous effects, I wouldn’t be surprised if many a trick or treater tried to join in on this class action lawsuit. Is this why wicked witches hand out candied apples to children instead of kisses? Unlike massive global corporations, witches know better than to poison the treats they plan on eating.
If you are interested in seeing how this case develops — who am I kidding, of course you are, keep your eyes on Lazazzaro v Hershey Co, U.S. District Court, Eastern District of New York, No. 22-07923
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at email@example.com and by tweet at @WritesForRent.